Figure from the Past
by teh tarik
Summary: *COMPLETED* (Will Rukawa live or die?) Rukawa Kaede sees someone who walked out of his life earlier on....but she doesn't seem to remember him, Pls review
1. Default Chapter

I do not own Slam Dunk.darn.  
  
Words in italics represent the thoughts of the characters.  
  
Chapter 1.  
  
It wasn't true. It couldn't be. The raven-haired boy blinked and stared at the strange yet familiar figure standing across the road. She was standing there, in the pale morning sunlight of Kanagawa. Her face, it seemed older than when he had last seen her nine years ago. She had long raven hair like he did, and the same pale, sickly skin. Her soft brown eyes that used too glow with love for him now stared blankly across the road, watching the morning traffic buzz.  
  
It was none other than his mother. His mother who had walked out on their family when he was only a little boy of six. He remembered the night when she left very well. He could hear his parents having a stormy argument downstairs. His mother seemed to be crying, and his father was answering her in cold tones. The argument had worn on longer than usual, and he remembered how heartsick he felt at hearing them argue. Rukawa then heard her snatch up her up a suitcase and began throwing all her things inside it. She walked out that very night, ignoring his pleas and pitiful cries. She had promised him that she would come and visit him and send him lots of letters, but she never did. His joy in life had died when she disappeared from his life.  
  
He soon got to know from his father that she had moved away from Kanagawa to Osaka. Yet, here she was now, standing, staring blankly. She did not seem to have noticed him. He could see that she had aged. Her eyes were tired and the way she held herself up seemed weary. Then, she seemed to wake up from her daydream and slowly walked away. Full or curiosity, he followed her. He kept up with her easily. She did not seem to notice that someone was following her.  
  
She walked on until she came to a huge, gleaming mansion. A spacious garden, gleaming windows, and in the garden, Rukawa froze as he saw two children, one boy and one girl, about eight years and four years playing happily. The elder one called out as she entered.  
  
"Toosan! Where did toosan go without us?" he cried running to her and giving her a hug.  
  
She laughed at their little worried faces and replied, "Don't be alarmed, Saoka, Chihiro, I just went out for a walk. It's so good to be back in Kanagawa."  
  
Can it be her? Rukawa wondered. She's.she married again? Shock coursed through him. At that moment, he saw a postman drop a few letters into the freshly painted letterbox.  
  
"Get the post, Chihiro," she said cheerfully to her son.  
  
Rukawa ran after the postman who was delivering a letter to the house next door. He managed to catch up and asked rather breathlessly. "Excuse me," he panted, "who lives in that house?"  
  
"Oh, Mr. Hanomuri Sakimoto and his wife, Mizuki," answered the postman. "Why?"  
  
"Oh, nothing," he answered, his heart sinking. "I thought they looked familiar." So it was his mother after all. Except now that she was no longer Mizuki Rukawa but Mizuki Sakimoto. He walked away, and never in his life had he felt so bitter.  
  
Tbc.  
  
This is my first fic.... boring? Pls review and tell me what u guys think.  
  
PS: Thanx! You actually read this whole thing.  
  
PPS: Sorry about the paragraphs. 


	2. Chapter 2

Slam Dunk is not mine...darn.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
It can't be her. It isn't her. It is a different woman who looks like her and has the same name.but it isn't her. After all, there are at least more than a hundred people in Kanagawa with the name Mizuki. Damn, why am I even thinking of her? She walked out of home nine years ago and she left me alone. Damn, did she even think about others? What they thought when she just walked away like that and never returned? All those empty promises she made about sending letters and visiting again, all empty talk. Selfish bitch, she doesn't even care. It isn't her. She's dead, at least in my memory. There is no place for her in my heart. She is only a figment of imagination, like a fairytale. She's dead.  
  
Rukawa sat staring out of the window, his mind all jumbled up with thoughts. The rain outside splattered against the window pane and trickled slowly down, blurring the images and things outside. All his life, since his mother had walked out, he had wanted to see her again. He wanted her to come back. But here she was, back in Kanagawa. And Rukawa did not feel anything at all. He had changed from the laughing, merry child to a cold emotionless youth. He could only feel bitterness. All his life, apart from basketball, he had wanted to see her, he had wanted to see his parents united. She had come back, not to see him, but with another family of her own, obviously forgetting about her past life. The hell with her!  
  
~Flashback~  
  
"Kaede, what do you want to be when you grow up?" came Mizuki's soft, musical voice as she lovingly ran a slender hand through his untidy raven hair.  
  
"I want to be a professional basketball player, and I want to be the best player in Japan, in the whole world!" came the boy's enthusiastic reply. His ice blue eyes shone with eagerness and his face glowed with excitement. "And when I am rich I will buy a huge house for you, kassan, neechan and me to live in!"  
  
Mizuki laughed softly, hope and love reflected in her chocolate eyes for her son. "No doubt, you will, Kaede."  
  
~End of Flashback~  
  
This was one of the few memories he had of her. All the others, it seemed had died over the years, buried under layers of ice, bitterness and his emptiness. Rukawa felt his chest tighten with pain. He coughed continuously into the back of his hand until his throat was sore and he was nearly breathless. He had been asthmatic since he was very young. His asthmatic attacks had rapidly increased ever since he had started playing basketball. He was thankful that he had never collapsed or started coughing like this when he was in school.  
  
He let his gaze wander to the back of his hand, and to his shock, he saw splotches of red on it. Blood? Do asthmatic people cough out blood?  
  
********************  
  
"Nyahahahaha! Ore wa Tensai Sakuragi Hanamichi!" cried Sakuragi after he successfully did a lay up shot.  
  
"Do'ahou," the word came automatically from Rukawa's mouth.  
  
"Baka kitsune! How dare you make fun of the tensai!"  
  
"Tensai my ass!"  
  
"Teme!"  
  
Whap! A paper fan came out of nowhere and slapped Sakuragi on his head. The person was none other than Ayako, the basketball team manageress of Shohoku High. Though Sakuragi towered over her, he seemed to shrink before this curly haired girl who wore her wavy hair under a cap clutching the dreaded paper fan.  
  
"Continue with your practice, Sakuragi. This is not the time to pick a fight with Rukawa," said Ayako.  
  
"This is so unfair!" protested Sakuragi clutching his head. "The kitsune started it, why do you never hit him!" He was silenced quickly as Ayako brandished her paper fan menacingly and he slunk off back to the court.  
  
Later, when all the others had gone home, he started to practice on his own. He dribbled the ball across the court and proceeded to dunk it into the basket. Usually, he would put his whole heart and soul into practicing, but today, he seemed, distracted. All of a sudden, his chest erupted with pain. He sank to his knees clutching his chest, and started coughing into his t-shirt. After a few moments, he got up rather shakily.  
  
I have to practice! The practice match against Ryonan is coming soon! They must not know of my asthma, or Anzai-sensei will never let me play for the game. Full of determination, he continued his dunk shots, lay up shots, and three points. Damn that noise! Damn the stupid yelling, screaming crowd! And most of all, damn those stupid girls who screamed everytime he made a shot. Did they have no dignity? Damn them!  
  
Wait, he told himself, there's nobody in here! Damn it! Must have been my imagination. He continued practicing like nothing had happened. When he decided that he had practiced enough, he staggered out of the gym and reached for his bike, his head throbbing with pain. Images swam in and out of focus. Asthma causes headaches? He wondered.  
  
He rode all the way home, deciding to consume some aspirin as soon as he reached home. As he came to the outside of his house, he reached his hand into the letterbox, not as if he expected any letters, but out of habit. His fingers closed on a letter. He staggered into the dark house, flipped a switch and light flooded in. Forgetting about the aspirin, he ripped open the envelope, and froze as he saw its contents.  
  
Tbc  
  
  
  
Another chapter...whew! Boring? I really SUCK at writing. Hell, who cares. PLs Review anyway.  
  
Aneway, sumwan asked me a question..manicalcraze I think..am I Malaysian? Yea I am..and I luv to drink teh tarik! 


	3. Chapter3

Slam Dunk is not mine.urrgh.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Dear Kaede, Long time no see, ya! How are you and otousan doing? I am very sorry I haven't sent you a single letter since the day I left. Has okassan kept her promise and visited you lately? I wish she never walked out that day. I really miss her. I miss her smile and I miss her love. I don't think I need to write to you like a little seven-year-old boy like you were when I left home. I'm sure you are fully matured by now.  
  
Now I would like to tell you a few things. First of all, I am already married to another Japanese girl I met here in San Francisco. She is working as an accountant in the same office as me. Her name is Harusumi Shizaki and she's twenty- four years old. We have a nice house with a good view of the sea, which we managed to buy out of all our savings. I have never felt so peaceful in my life, Kaede. Finally, I can start a family of my own.  
  
Life in San Francisco is so peaceful and nice. There is the normal blare of traffic and usual loud noises, but there is a strange but pleasant feeling of home in here. I think I prefer this place to Kanagawa. Oh, by the way, we, (Haru and I) plan to visit you and otousan in Kanagawa soon. Our plane arrives on June the12th at 11.00a.m. Please tell otousan that, won't you? I am looking forward to seeing you again! Bye, Kaede, take care!  
  
  
  
Your loving Onii-chan, Kiyomuri.  
  
  
  
Rukawa read the letter feeling stunned. Onii-chan? Coming back? He was shocked. Kiyomuri had walked out of home one year after Mizuki had. He remembered that day well.  
  
~Flashback~  
  
"Where are you going, onii-chan?" came Rukawa's innocent voice. He stared as Kiyomuri rapidly stuffed suits of clothing into a large suitcase. He felt slightly alarmed. "Are you leaving like how kassan left us?"  
  
"No, no, Kaede, you won't understand," he replied quickly, his face flushed. "It's for the good of all of us."  
  
"You're leaving me and otousan back here!" his innocent tone suddenly became sharp and accusing.  
  
"Kaede, I have been promoted from my job. I now have a chance to work in San Francisco!" said Kiyomuri. "I can help otousan by sending money home. My pay will be more in America, Kaede, and I can help support otousan."  
  
Rukawa had not really understood what his onii-chan had meant by that. What is the difference with working in Kanagawa and in San Francisco, wherever that is? All he knew was that onii-chan was leaving him like kassan. And there would be one person less in this family. "Don't go, onii-chan," said Rukawa, his eyes pleading. "Don't go."  
  
"I'm sorry, Kaede, but I have to. It's for the good of all of us!" came the reply. Kiyomuri's face then softened as he saw his little brother's ice blue eyes brim with tears. "I will come back, Kaede, don't worry. I will come back. But now, I've got to go. The cab will be here soon to take me to the airport. Otousan already knows about it."  
  
Rukawa just stared dumbstruck. Otousan had let him go? He could feel the tears welling in his eyes again. Kiyomuri did not seem to notice. He lugged the heavy suitcase out of the house with Rukawa following behind. Then, a slight halt of brakes, and a taxi roared and stopped in front of the gates. Kiyomuri seemed so calm, so unruffled. He just hauled the suitcase into the boot and was about to get inside when Rukawa suddenly ran to him crying, "Onii-chan! Don't go! Onii-chan! Please!"  
  
The only response was his onii-chan jumping into the car ever so quickly and giving him a final wave before the car roared down the streets, soon lost amidst the hustle and bustle of Kanagawa.  
  
  
  
~End of Flashback~  
  
Hell. What the hell is this? Some big family reunion? One big happy family. Once again, Rukawa felt the bitterness. One big happy family, reuniting back in Kanagawa, where it all started. How ironic. Instead of feeling happy, eager, excited that his onii-chan was finally returning to Kanagawa, Rukawa felt nothing. What was there to feel happy about? Damn. Why can't I feel anything? Maybe I am the cold, emotionless bastard they all say I am. So what? It's not my fault I am. They just can't mind their own business.  
  
He felt a surge of anger rise through him. Kiyomuri did not sound the least bit sorry that he had just left like that in his letter. He sounded pleased, contented, happy. Coming back to Kanagawa after many years seemed like a normal thing to him. Damn. What the hell do you think I am, onii- chan, some toy you can play with and out it away for a long time before you take it out again? And in his letter he asked how otousan is. Onii-chan is happy, but I'm not, thought Rukawa. Don't you know, Kiyo, that otousan died last year in a car accident? I'm alone now, onii-chan, thanks to you and okassan. I'm alone.  
  
  
  
  
  
Rukawa did not know what he was doing here, in front of Mizuki's house. He just stared at it. He only felt the need to be there, and secretly, he hoped to see her again. Would she remember him? He longed to tell her so many things. About Kiyomuri coming home tomorrow. About otousan's death. About his coming match with Ryonan High. Wait. She did not even know that Kiyomuri had left home like her. She would not even care whether otousan was dead or not, after all he was the reason she left home. Or was it? And she did not even know that he was in the school basketball team or what school he even went to.  
  
Sighing and shrugging his shoulders, he walked away from the beautiful house feeling disappointment burn in his face for something he had not even tried. As he was about to cross the road and walk back to his own house, he froze when he saw who was coming across. It was none other than Chihiro Sakimoto, his half-brother. Little Chihiro was laughing joyfully with a sound so merry and soulful that it pierced through all the ice in Rukawa's heart, and he suddenly felt waves of jealousy pummel him. The boy was dribbling a basketball, which seemed too big for his little hands.  
  
"Chihiro! Chihiro!" came a familiar voice. Rukawa froze and tried to run, but his legs seemed glued to the spot. "Don't cross the road by yourself! Wait for kassan!"  
  
Mizuki was hurrying to her son as fast as she could. Meanwhile, Chihiro who was still dribbling the basketball bounced the ball a little too hard, and the ball went bouncing off across the road. Without thinking, he ran after it. He did not see the huge bus thundering down the road at full speed headed for him. Mizuki let out a scream of fear. "Chihiro! Come back!" she cried.  
  
Chihiro did not seem to hear her; he was still intent in chasing after the ball down the road. Rukawa, however, saw the bus rumble in slow motion. With a sudden burst of speed, he reached the boy in one swift bound and shoved him roughly out of the way of the thundering vehicle. He then gave one swift leap and managed to jump away in time, the bus rattling away down the spot he had been in a moment ago.  
  
Tbc.  
  
Congrats.you sat through another chapter! You mus really like it ^_^ Review n tel me pls..if its boring I will most gladly retire(or maybe not).whew..i can't believe I'm actually writing this! 


	4. Chapter4

Slam Dunk is not mine.I is so jealous of Mr. Takehiko Inoue!!  
  
Chapter 4  
  
"Chihiro! Are you all right?" Mizuki asked anxiously running to her son. "What were you thinking of? You could have been killed!"  
  
Chihiro's eyes started to brim with tears. "I-I lost my basketball," he sniffed. "I didn't see it coming. Go - gomen."  
  
"You nearly died out there and now all you are worried about is your basketball! If this kindly person here," she gestured at Rukawa, "had not pushed you away, you would have been dead!"  
  
Rukawa nearly smiled. That was exactly how his mother used to behave. She would get worried or anxious at the slightest mistake, and this was definitely a serious one. He got up and dusted himself, at a loss of what to say. He just stood and stared, contemplating whether to reveal his identity to her or just walk away. He had never been the kind to strike up conversations with people. What if she doesn't remember me? What if she rejects me as her son? What if.? His mind buzzed with doubt. Reluctantly he began to walk away.  
  
"Wait!" called a voice behind him. His heart nearly skipped a beat. Did she recognize him? He hoped she did, and at the same time, he hoped she didn't. "Arigato. Domo arigato gozaimasu."  
  
Rukawa turned round slowly. "It - it was nothing."  
  
Mizuki stared at him. That face. Where have I seen it before? He seems so familiar. "What is your name?" she asked finally, after staring hard at his face.  
  
"Um - I am - um. Hisashi Mitsui," Rukawa said the first name that came into his mind. "Hisashi Mitsui."  
  
"Are you ok?" she asked concerned. Then her eyes widened slightly. "There is blood on your shirt. You must be hurt!"  
  
Rukawa glanced carelessly at his shirt. Yes that was definitely blood. He had been coughing into his shirt. "It's just - just paint," he replied stupidly, not knowing what else to answer.  
  
"Have we met before?" she asked softly in her ever so recognizable musical voice. "You look very familiar."  
  
Rukawa was feeling more and more uncomfortable. He had never had long conversations with anyone for a long, long time, and he really did not know how to reply. "I - I don't think so."  
  
He was about to turn to go when Mizuki said, "Do you need a lift home? My house is just over there." She pointed to the huge house across the road. Rukawa stared at her, then shook his head and walked away as fast as he could before she could ask anymore questions.  
  
Damn. I had the damned chance to tell her. I had the damned chance to be her son again. But I didn't have the guts to tell her. I didn't have any courage. Damn it. Rukawa cursed himself over and over again. Then he thought again. Wait. Why on earth do I want her to love me again? What the hell was I thinking of? She was that damned bitch that walked away first and then came back with another family of her own. Why did I save her son? He might even end up like me, all alone.  
  
As he reached his home, he kept repeating the same words inside his head. I don't want her back. I don't want any of them back.  
  
  
  
  
  
Rukawa awoke in the morning after a bad night of sleep. He had spent the whole night coughing his lungs out. Beside his bed, was a waste basket, filled with bloodied tissues. This asthma of his, or whatever it was, was definitely getting worse. He stared at the clock. 9.00 a.m. He had never awoken from his sleep so early before without an alarm clock. . Especially not on a Saturday. His eyes fell on a calendar on his bedside table. June 12th.  
  
June 12th. There was something about this date that was important and he struggled hard to remember it. Something about someone coming back. Oh yeah. Kiyomuri.  
  
"Damn," he muttered to himself. He changed into his clothes and picked up a basketball from under his bed and proceeded outside. Kiyomuri was only arriving at 11.00a.m; there would be plenty of time to practice. The Ryonan match was drawing nearer and nearer. I have to beat Sendoh. I have to beat that bastard. I won't lose to him anymore.  
  
The Shohoku gym would be closed on Saturday, so he rode to the public court in Kanagawa. It was empty as usual. Good. He then proceeded to dribble the ball across the court and then dunked it down the hoop. He practiced harder than usual. He eluded his imaginary opponent and swiftly ran across the court. He could almost hear Sakuragi screaming at him to pass the ball, which of course, he ignored. He did a three pointer. The ball arced in the air and with a swish, fell cleanly through the basket. Yes!  
  
All of a sudden, his chest seemed to erupt with pain. He staggered into the bushes by the court. He felt like throwing up. But throw up what? He hadn't eaten any breakfast this morning, or dinner last night. He doubled over retching violently. He retched and retched, but nothing came out, except a few drops of blood. The scarlet drops spattered on the ground. His chest felt like it was on fire. He felt both boiling hot and freezing cold at the same time. When he finally stopped, he felt a bit light-headed, but he still got up and headed for his bike. He checked his watch. It was twelve o'clock already! Onii-chan might be back any minute now, he thought. Good, let him wait.  
  
He rode back home, and for once he failed to sleep on his bike as usual. He still felt light-headed and did not concentrate. Suddenly, his bike seemed to swerve and he went crashing into something, or rather, someone. Then, he heard an angry shout.  
  
"Hey, you! Can't you ride properly?" cried the man. A woman, his wife, Rukawa presumed, helped him up. Rukawa was sprawled on the ground not far from him. He did not bother to answer and was about to get up and ride on when.  
  
"Kaede! Is that you?" cried the man suddenly.  
  
Rukawa froze. Please, let it not be him, please let it not be him. He turned round slowly. It was definitely Kiyomuri. He had the same brown hair and brown eyes like the last time Rukawa had seen him. He was wearing a pair of baggy jeans, and an earring on his left ear glinted in the sunlight. And that small, slender woman with black hair next to him must be his wife, Harusumi. "O - onii-chan?" he said uncertainly.  
  
The man smiled. It was a warm smile that lit up his well-chiseled features on his face. "I've missed you, Kaede."  
  
Rukawa grunted in reply. He did not sound like he had missed him. If Kiyomuri had really missed him, he would have kept in touch with him, Rukawa, instead of just breaking off contact like this.  
  
Kiyomuri chose to ignore that. "Kaede, meet Haru-chan, my wife," he said.  
  
Harusumi blushed a little as she held out her hand. "Nice to meet you, Kaede." He did not take her hand, but just stared at her with cold, emotionless eyes. She flinched a little from his hard, cold gaze and slowly withdrew her hand, flushing slightly.  
  
Kiyomuri seemed a little embarrassed and angry at Rukawa's strange behaviour. "You've changed, Kaede. Do you know that?" His slightly raised voice indicated that he was annoyed with Rukawa's cold attitude. "You used to be such a happy, talkative child, and now you're so.different."  
  
"So?" Rukawa asked coldly. "People change."  
  
Kiyomuri seemed a little taken aback at the cold behaviour. Harusumi sensed the tension between the two of them and finally said. "Kaede, won't you show us the way to your house?"  
  
Rukawa stared at her and finally nodded, reluctantly. He wheeled his bicycle, basketball tucked under his arm. Kiyomuri tried to start a conversation with him. What's wrong with him? He's not the Kaede I used to know.  
  
"We are staying at a hotel nearby. Since it's quite near to home, we decided to walk and enjoy Kanagawa before gong home," he said rather brightly.  
  
Rukawa did not reply. Onii-chan doesn't even want to come home; he is staying at a hotel instead. And he still calls the house he used to live in home.  
  
Seeing the basketball under his arm, Harusumi said, "Been playing basketball?"  
  
What a stupid question, Rukawa thought. He nodded in reply. She tried again. "Do you play for your school?"  
  
Another nod. This time Kiyomuri asked. " Practicing for a basketball match with another school?"  
  
Nod.  
  
"Which school is that?"  
  
"Ryonan High."  
  
"Oh, that reminds me, what school are you in now?"  
  
"Shohoku High."  
  
There was an awkward silence. Rukawa was obviously not making any effort to talk at all. Kiyomuri tried to change the subject. "How's otousan?"  
  
Rukawa was silent for awhile. Then, "He's dead."  
  
Kiyomuri stopped walking. "Dead? Otousan's dead? How did he die? When?" He bombarded Rukawa with questions.  
  
"Last year. Car accident."  
  
"Who are you living with now?" came Kiyomuri's now shaky voice. HE seemed indeed rather shaken up by the news of his father's death.  
  
This guy has got to be kidding. Who would I live with? My fairy godmother? "I live alone," he said. After this, there was silence until the reached the house. Rukawa could feel the guilt Kiyomuri was radiating. Too late, he thought. The damage's done.  
  
  
  
Mizuki was uncertain as she sat in the plush, luxurious living room. That boy. His face. Where had she seen it before? She gazed out dreamily of the window. He had finely chiseled features, pale skin, untidy raven black hair and the coldest, most expressionless face she had ever seen. She shuddered as she remembered his cold ice-blue eyes studying her.  
  
He said his name was Hisashi Mitsui. She had never known a Hisashi Mitsui before in her whole, entire life. That she was sure of. But she was sure she had seen him before. Somehow, a long time ago. Where? He saved Chihiro's life. She felt ever so grateful to this strange person.  
  
I don't know. Where have I seen him before? Who does he remind me of? Oh, wait, he reminds me of.me. Myself. He looks like me. Same hair, same skin. Then it hit her.  
  
"Kaede!" she cried.  
  
  
  
Tbc.  
  
Dis is the longest chapt I haf eva written..whew.  
  
BTW.  
  
Jo, (it's jo izit??) teh tarik tastes very very nice..in my opinion. Does dat give u an idea how it tastes like? Maniacalcraze.good luck on ur pmr results. Yep, its definitely tuberculosis U guys better put me in the mood of continuing dis fic, by sending me lots of review...i dun feel 2 good myself 


	5. Chapter 5

Slam Dunk is not.oh, whatever.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Rukawa was getting more and more irritated with his brother. Kiyomuri had never stopped asking him stupid questions, like how he managed things when living alone, or how were his grades at school, or whether he had been fighting at school etc. He answered as curtly as possible, hoping that Kiyomuri would leave soon. He could sense that his onii-chan was feeling very guilty of leaving him in the first place, eight years ago. But he was not ready to forgive him. For what reason? Why should I forgive him? When he was in San Francisco I bet he didn't even give a thought to otousan and me back here. He just became rich, married and forgot about life back here. Damn him, Rukawa thought rather bitterly.  
  
"Kaede, you should not live alone," said Harusumi's soft voice. Rukawa kept silent. He somehow liked Harusumi's soft voice and gentle way. Although her words sounded like she was bossing him around, he felt that she was being motherly. Or sisterly. Or whatever. She reminded him about his mother, Mizuki. Thinking about Mizuki just made his heart ache, and he realized, that no matter how he tried to hide it, he was really missing her and wanted her back.  
  
"Haru-chan is right," added Kiyomuri. "It's dangerous. You should have told us that otousan has passed away. We would have come home straight away."  
  
Rukawa felt a hot surge or anger. Would you? He demanded silently. "What's so dangerous about living alone? There's nothing wrong with it," he said, his voice shaking with anger. Then he added bitterly, "Besides, I don't even have your address or phone number in San Francisco."  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence. For once, Kiyomuri was at a loss for what to say. What am I to say to him? What the hell is wrong with him? Then, Kiyomuri felt a pang of guilt. He should never have left home in the first place. Why, he had never even contacted otousan since the day he left. "Kaede, I - I'm sorry."  
  
"For?"  
  
"The day I left you here, Kaede. I never dreamed that you would be so alone. And what with otousan's death. I - I know it must have been very hard for you to bear, with me leaving after okaa-san had left," Kiyomuri sighed. "I - I'm sorry Kaede."  
  
Rukawa was silent. Kiyomuri was apologizing to him. Should he accept it? Should he? I don't believe him. I don't believe him. He's lying. He's not sorry at all. Rukawa repeated the words again and again in his head. Then he replied, "You know, onii-chan, everyone in school calls me a cold, emotionless bastard behind my back. They think that I'm so damned blur and don't know what's happening around. But I have ears, like you, like them. I am not deaf. I can hear what they say. And it's your fault I'm like that, it's your damned fault."  
  
Kiyomuri stared at Rukawa in shock. He had never expected Kaede to be so cold, so unforgiving. "Fine, Kaede," he said as calmly as he could. His face was livid in anger, and his knuckles were white with clenching his fists so tightly. "If you don't want to forgive me. Fine."  
  
That was all he said before walking out of the house. Harusumi stared after him, got up and was about to follow him when she turned around and said to Rukawa, whose face betrayed no emotion. "You're the cold, emotionless bastard they all say you are is not because of Kiyo's fault. It's your own fault you became like this. You chose to be come like this, Kaede. It was your own choice."  
  
**************************  
  
"I can't let him live like that, all alone," said Kiyomuri rather soberly to Harusumi. "After all, it is partly my fault that he's alone."  
  
"I know how he feels, Kiyo," she said softly. "I mean like, how would you feel if the people that you love and trust just walk in and out of your life like that? Kaede's gone through a lot in his life, and he has had to face a lot of things in this world alone. I don't think he was prepared for your sudden homecoming."  
  
Kiyomuri thought hard. "What can I do?" Then it hit him. "Okaa-san!" he cried.  
  
"Where is he now?"  
  
"I last heard from otousan nine years ago that she moved to Osaka after the divorce," he said, swallowing hard. "But, I might get her whereabouts from her one of her closest friends. I'll tell her about Kaede. She won't be so hard-hearted as to just reject him."  
  
Kiyomuri pulled out his mobile phone from his pocket. "Mrs. Tanaka is a really good friend of okaa-san," he said. "I have her number with me. She is sure to know where okaa-san might be."  
  
He quickly dialed the number and waited almost impatiently for her to answer the line.  
  
"Moshi-moshi?" came a voice from the other line.  
  
"Er - Moshi-moshi. Is this Mrs. Tanaka speaking?"  
  
"Yes, this is Ayaki Tanaka. Who is this speaking?"  
  
"This is Kiyomuri Rukawa, Mizuki's son. Listen, Mrs. Tanaka, I have something very important to ask you, do you know where is okaa-san is staying in Osaka? This is really urgent."  
  
"Mizuki? Why, she's moved back to Kanagawa recently! Kiyomuri, is that you? Mizuki will be happy to see you and Kaede again. And do you know, Kiyo, she's married again to Hanomuri Sakimoto!" Mrs. Tanaka gave the address and Mizuki's phone number.  
  
He dialed Mizuki's number on his mobile. His heart was beating wildly. What would he say to okaa-san right now? He had not talked to her for nine whole years. He felt nervous. But what shocked him most was the fact that she was married again. She might not want Kaede or him back anymore.  
  
"Mizuki Sakimoto speaking."  
  
There was a brief silence. Then, "O - okaa-san," Kiyomuri's voice trembled with emotion.  
  
Another long pause. "Ka - kaede?"  
  
"No. This is Kiyomuri."  
  
"Kiyomuri!" cried Mizuki shocked. "How are you? How are things at home? And how is Kaede?" She let all the questions flow out of her before adding, "I've missed you and Kaede a lot, Kiyo, I really have, and I regret not keeping in touch with you. But I was afraid of your otousan."  
  
Kiyomuri took a deep breath, and then proceeded to explain everything about Kaede's life and about everybody he loved leaving him. Mizuki listened shocked.  
  
"Your otousan, dead? And poor Kaede living alone?"  
  
"Listen, okaa-san," said Kiyomuri. "Why don't we meet somewhere? Then we can talk. How about by the park?"  
  
"I'll be there, Kiyo."  
  
********************  
  
Mizuki stood at the entrance of the park. The wind blew gently and caressed her face. She kept looking across the road and around, in case Kiyomuri had arrived and she had not noticed or recognized him. But, when he arrived, she recognized him immediately. The same wavy brown hair as her first husband, chocolate eyes like her, but this time an earring glinted on his left earlobe. He was with a small, slender woman.  
  
She ran to him, and he, to her. And there, they embraced on the spot, each feeling the joy of finding something they had lost. Harusumi smiled gently, the wind whipped her hair across her face. Mizuki was crying. Tears of joy streamed down her cheeks and dropped slowly to the ground.  
  
After Kiyomuri had made all the introductions between his mother and wife, they proceeded to talk about Kaede.  
  
"I have to see him immediately," said Mizuki rather worriedly. "He might not be feeling well. He's asthmatic, you know."  
  
Kiyomuri knew. "He looked alright to me when we visited him yesterday," he said. Then his face lit up. "But I know how you could surprise him. He's playing in a basketball match against Ryonan High School tomorrow morning. You could be there to support him."  
  
Mizuki thought for a while. "I'm positive it was Kaede who saved Chihiro's life the other day," she told Kiyomuri. "Never mind, we'll find out tomorrow."  
  
"The match will be held in his school, Shohoku High tomorrow morning," said Kiyomuri.  
  
"And that's where we are going."  
  
Tbc.  
  
  
  
Ah.another chapter done.at last. Boring? Review me n tell me pls.  
  
I'm reeelee sori bout de paragraphing..everytime I upload a de chapter it becomes like this.I can't help it. So sori..uRRgh, I need sum teh tarik right now!! 


	6. Chapter6

Slam Dunk is not and will never be mine.nooooo!  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Rukawa stared at his pale reflection in the mirror. He almost recoiled at the sight of himself staring back and he flinched at the icy face gazing back in the looking glass. He had grown even paler in the last few days. Eye bags hung below his startling blue eyes. He seemed to have lost a lot of weight due to lack of sleep and appetite. The asthma or whatever illness he had was certainly having an effect on him. Rukawa had never cared much about his looks before, to him, mirrors were a waste of time. But today, he just could not understand why he was staring at himself for so long, and why he could not bear to have his ice cold eyes glaring back at him. Cold. Emotionless. Maybe he should try to smile.  
  
Smile? He wondered. Maybe I should just give it a try, even when there's nothing to smile about. He tried to force his lips to curve upward. To form a smile. It hurt. It hurt inside. He could feel all the hurt and self-pity welling up inside him. Does it hurt as much to other people when they smile? He stared at his reflection again. It was not a happy smile. It was bitter, empty and insincere. He let his lips droop back into the ever- present frown. He changed and headed downstairs. His stomach was empty, but he could feel the urge to throw up every time he thought of food.  
  
Match against Ryonan today. Damn. I can't end up collapsing or coughing up blood in the game today, or Anzai-sensei will never let me play. His head ached, his chest felt like it was on fire. He rode all the way to Shohoku High without falling asleep once on his bike today.  
  
**********************  
  
  
  
"Rukawa-kun," called a familiar voice. Kogure's. "You're early today."  
  
Rukawa made no response and just headed for the locker room. Kogure frowned. He was used to the silent, moody freshman, though he could not help wishing that Rukawa would be a bit friendlier with other people. But today, Rukawa seemed different. Usually he would mumble a response, but today, there was just plain silence. Rukawa quickly changed into his Number 11 basketball jersey. But before he put it on, he stared at the colour. Red. Red as blood. Red as the blood he constantly coughed out. He scowled at the thought of his illness and quickly put it on. The door banged open and Sakuragi came in.  
  
"Nyahahahaha!" he laughed. "Today is the day that the tensai shall show all his skills! Watch me play, kitsune!"  
  
"Do'aho," Rukawa mumbled, not really listening to what that baka said.  
  
"Teme! Kitsune! I, the tensai will beat you today!" Sakuragi imagined the whole crowd of people cheering and clapping for him as he made a powerful slam dunk shot. The gym resounded with the vibrations of the basket as the ball was slammed in. "Nyahahaha! You watch, kitsune!"  
  
"You will probably beat me in getting fouled out," said Rukawa.  
  
"Teme kitsune.!"  
  
Stupid baka, he thought. He massaged his chest a bit trying to ease the pain. But the pain was inside. There was nothing to do now, but wait.  
  
  
  
**********************  
  
Both teams marched out into the center of the gym. The gym resounded with cheers and catcalls. Both captains of the teams shook hands while the team members exchanged smiles with each other, except Rukawa. He just let his icy glare rest on each of them. At the same time, he could not help wondering.  
  
Does it hurt them? He wondered staring back, unsmiling as Sendoh flashed him a smile. Does it hurt them to smile like that? And Sendoh is always smiling. Does it hurt him to? Why does it hurt when I try to smile? Why can't I smile and be happy like them? Why am I so cold, so indifferent?  
  
Sendoh flashed a smile at Rukawa, which, as he expected, was not returned. He could not wait to play with his old rival once more. Had Rukawa improved? Sendoh could not wait to test him out. But, something was wrong with him today. Sendoh glanced at him again. The look of steely determination in those ice blue eyes that always seemed to say, "I will beat you, Sendoh," was not there. He looked distracted. Rukawa? Distracted? Sendoh wondered. Then he studied the younger boy closely. He saw that Rukawa looked even paler and sicklier than ever. He had lost a lot of weight. And, he was sweating. Sweating before the game had even begun. Sweating as if he was in terrible pain.  
  
Kogure, sitting on the bench also noticed the changes in Rukawa. He seemed tired, and unable to hold himself up properly. What is wrong with him? Kogure wondered.  
  
Rukawa wiped the perspiration of his forehead. He was already sweating, and the game had not even started. "Kuso," he muttered under his breath. He could feel the terrible pain stirring in his chest. "Kuso."  
  
"Players! Take your positions!" the referee ordered putting the whistle between his lips.  
  
  
  
*************************  
  
  
  
In the midst of the noisy, cheering spectators, Mizuki, Kiyomuri and Harusumi watched. They watched as the two teams assembled in the middle of the court and shook hands.  
  
"Kaede, where is he?" she asked straining her eyes to find Rukawa. Her eyes scanned every player until it rested on the pale, raven-haired boy. "Kaede!"  
  
Kiyomuri smiled. "That's him, okaa-san. Now we'll see how well he plays. Whether he is going to fulfill that dream his of becoming the best basketball player in Japan."  
  
Mizuki smiled warmly, remembering the time long ago when Kaede had told her of his ambition. Then she frowned and said, "Kiyo, I don't understand why Kaede did not tell me who he is the day he saved Chihiro. He called himself Hisashi Mitsui instead."  
  
"He recognized you, okaa-san. He was afraid that you would not remember him, and even if you did, he was afraid you would reject him. After all, you now have another family of your own."  
  
Mizuki looked perplexed and sighed rather guiltily. "I should never have left in the first place. One silly misunderstanding with Sako nearly ruined his whole life."  
  
There was a silence, before Harusumi said softly, "The game is starting."  
  
***********************  
  
Akagi leaped into the air and managed to smash the ball away from Uozumi into the hands of Ryota Miyagi. Miyagi dribbled the ball halfway to the net when Fukuda appeared out of nowhere and tried to steal the ball. Miyagi passed the ball to Rukawa who stood waiting. Rukawa felt the rough, spherical surface of the ball enclosed within his palms. Then, he saw a face with those ever so familiar spikes jump in front to block him.  
  
I'll beat you, Sendoh, he silently vowed. At that moment, with lightning speed a hand appeared out of nowhere and lightly tapped the ball away from his grasp. Sendoh had stolen the ball. Everyone gasped. Rukawa Kaede had let Sendoh steal the ball so easily? Shit! What the hell is wrong with me! He cried out silently, running after Sendoh.  
  
Sendoh easily threw the ball into the basket with no one to stop him. He glanced back, and saw Rukawa quite far behind. He was moving very slowly, slower than usual. His whole body was drenched with perspiration, and Sendoh could see him wincing with pain and every step he took. His eyes were unfocused.  
  
Akagi, too, sensed something was wrong with Rukawa. He was not his normal self today. "Baka Ryochin!" Sakuragi shouted suddenly. "Stop passing the ball to kitsune! Then tensai here is waiting!" Koshino immediately jumped in front of him so Miyagi could not pass the ball to Sakuragi.  
  
I must win. I won't lose. I will beat Sendoh! I will beat Sendoh! Damn it, I'll beat you, Sendoh! Kuso! Rukawa received the ball and ran toward the basket, dribbling the ball. He jumped in the air, meaning to do a dunk. The basket! Suddenly, all the cheers of the spectators, the encouraging shouts from Ayako and the substitutes on the bench seemed to be drowned by a strange eerie silence. Darkness seemed to enclose from within all corners of his vision.  
  
I am going to pass out, he told himself. Then, Nani! I am not going to pass out! No way! I am not going to pass out! The basket! It was coming nearer! He pulled back his hand meaning to dunk the ball in with all his force, but the his vision was becoming blurred.  
  
The basket! The basket! His mind screamed out hysterically. The basket was closer and closer and so was the darkness. Then, a large hand appeared right out of nowhere, right in front of his face, as Sendoh rose up to block him. He smashed the ball out of Rukawa's hands into the waiting Ikegami's.  
  
Rukawa fell crashing to the gym floor and the referee blew the whistle. It was a foul. Kogure gasped from the bench. Rukawa lay motionless and dazed on the floor for awhile. The crash, instead of blacking him out had jerked him to his senses. He picked himself up. Kuso! He told himself. Kuso! How could I have been so careless! Now Anzai-sensei might substitute me!  
  
Sendoh watched Rukawa with narrowed eyes. The freshman was panting hard. No, panting was not the right word. He was gasping for breath. At the bench, Anzai-sensei told Kogure, "Get ready."  
  
Rukawa had to take two free throws. He saw Anzai-sensei watching him carefully behind glistening spectacles. He knew he had to get those shots in, and then maybe, just maybe, he would not be substituted. He aimed carefully. I have to make it go in to continue playing. To beat Sendoh.  
  
"Rukawa! Concentrate!" Akagi roared. He could not understand why the freshman was playing so badly today. Rukawa's eyes narrowed with concentration and determination. His eyes focused on the basket alone. He threw the ball in. Both shots went in, much to everyone's relief.  
  
The game after that was fast and furious. Every step Rukawa took, his chest seemed to explode in pain. He desperately tried to swallow every urge to break down coughing out blood. He put his whole mind and soul in the game. His eyes and face burned with determination. But, for the sake of winning the game and beating Sendoh was he willing to endure all this pain. Each minute, he threatened to pass out, but his mind would scream back, I won't lose! Damn it, I won't lose! I WON"T LOSE!  
  
I'll beat you, Sendoh. I'll beat you. I won't lose. I won't lose. I will win this game.  
  
  
  
Tbc.  
  
Oh another chapter done.I get the feeling that I'm doin worse and worse each chapter.review n tell me if you don't like this chapter.and if you like.review me anyway!!! If u reelee reeelleee dun like this story n you think its all crap, review me n I might discontinue!!! Arigatou gozaimasu!! 


	7. Chapter7

Slam. Dunk. Does. Not. Belong. To. Me. (do I haf 2 repeat this all de time? I'm sure u guys get the message.)  
  
Chapter 7  
  
I'll beat you, Sendoh. I won't lose. I won't ever lose again.  
  
Rukawa's thoughts were in a whirr, his mind spinning, and he was breathing hard. Every breath he took was a torture to him, but he held on as long as he could. Though his legs threatened to give way anytime, his mind did not. He hung on with all his might his willpower could muster. One idea had lodged itself firmly in his brain; I will not lose.  
  
He could feel the boiling fury within him, the fury that Shohoku were still behind Ryonan by a few points. And he could also feel the ravenous hunger inside him. The hunger for victory, the hunger to defeat his rival. He could barely understand what was happening in the game, all the sounds of the gym, the noisy cheering of the spectators and Sakuragi's loud voice booming through the court all seemed to be drowned by the silence in his ears. He was running, playing in a vacuum, where there was no sound. Wait, there was one sound, which he concentrated hard on. The thudding of the basketball everytime someone dribbled it. He knew he had to get that ball and somehow throw it into the basket. He must not let his pain defeat him and bring him to his knees.  
  
Sendoh dribbled the ball slowly, flashing his ever-present smile at his rival who was blocking his way to the basket. The icy determination was back in his cold eyes, determination etched with pain. Suddenly, with one lightning fast movement, Rukawa stole the ball from him and without wasting time ran to the basket, dribbling the ball. Sendoh moved to block him, and Rukawa aimed the ball above his head slowly. Sendoh, thinking it was a fake, did not bother to try and block. It was a mistake. Rukawa jumped high and did a three pointer. The crowd went wild, screaming and cheering.  
  
"Sensei, Ayako, about Rukawa, is anything wrong with him?" asked Kogure looking worriedly at the super rookie who was now signaling Miyagi to pass the ball to him.  
  
"I don't know, Kogure-sempai," said Ayako. "He never talks much, and I don't know if there is anything wrong with him. Or maybe he's just tired."  
  
"Sensei, do you think he should be substituted? I mean, he is playing very well after playing poorly in the first few minutes of the game. But, there's something wrong with the way he moves, like he's in pain or something," said Kogure.  
  
Anzai-sensei replied, "Right now, we need him to help catch up on the points with Ryonan. But during half time, we will see if he's still fit to play."  
  
  
  
******************  
  
"Kaede. I didn't know he could play like that," said Mizuki softly. She could feel her pride and tears brimming in her brown eyes. "He'll certainly make his dreams live if he continues playing like that."  
  
"Kaede seems to be interested in nothing except basketball," said Harusumi. "When Kiyo and I visited him he seemed to have no interests except basketball."  
  
Kiyomuri did not reply. He watched Rukawa make another lay-up shot and frowned. No doubt that he was playing very well, after the poor start, but he was not moving naturally. His movements were forced, and he looked like he was going to drop anytime. Is there something wrong with him, or is he usually like that? He mused.  
  
******************  
  
The referee blew his whistle for half time. The score was 45-49, in favour of Ryonan. Rukawa immediately went straight to the lavatory, where he had a violent coughing fit. The blood came out, and by the time he stopped, he was exhausted. He went to join the rest of his teammates, who were listening to Akagi.  
  
"Rukawa," said a familiar voice.  
  
"H - hai, sensei," said Rukawa uncertainly. He was sure to be substituted now.  
  
"Is there anything wrong?"  
  
Rukawa was suddenly struck by a wave of emotions. He wanted to spill everything out to Anzai. All his problems, his disease, his mother and brother, his loneliness, but, pride held him back. His pride restrained him from spilling out his heart. And he could feel the pain, a deeper pain then the one in his chest, as he said, "No, sensei. There's nothing wrong."  
  
There was a short silence before he said, "Sensei, please don't substitute me. Let me play this match."  
  
Anzai merely gazed at him and smiled behind his twinkling glasses. "Pride gets in the way, does it, Rukawa? You want to beat Sendoh, don't you?'  
  
"Hai." This time, the response was firm and full of fresh determination.  
  
***************************  
  
"Pass!" Rukawa shouted to Mitsui who was having the ball. Mitsui was about to shoot when a Ryonan player moved in front to block him. He tried to elude the player, but another appeared. He had no choice but to pass to Rukawa. Rukawa moved with fluid grace and vicious speed. Within the next few minutes he had scored many more points. The score was tied now.  
  
Sendoh was also doing a good job, and he was surprised at Rukawa's sudden recovery. Still, he thought, there's something wrong with him.  
  
Rukawa played his hardest. He scored whenever he had the chance, doing magnificent dunks, lay-ups, three points and many others. His teammates were amazed at Rukawa's burning spirit. Little did they know that all the flaming determination masked the pain inside. The pain that burned harder and harder. Hold on, Rukawa told himself again and again. Another three minutes. I am not going to collapse like the game against Kainan. If I pass out now, how will I manage in the IH? I need stamina. I need to win.  
  
The clock ticked the second away. Twelve seconds before the game finished. The score was 78-78. "Rukawa!" cried Akagi and threw the ball to him. He dribbled the ball to the hoop. Seven seconds.Koshino tried to block him, but he eluded him easily. He made a huge jump and was about to slam the ball through the ring when Uozumi, Sendoh and Fukuda leaped up to block him. Four seconds, three, two.  
  
With all his might he slammed the ball in. He had jumped higher than all of them. The clock buzzed time up. The crowd went crazy. Rukawa Kaede, Shohoku Ace and Super Rookie had beaten Ryonan. But, by now, Rukawa was nearly at the end of his energy. The moment his feet touched the ground, he fell onto his knees. He could feel the mixed emotions running through him. He had beaten Sendoh.  
  
  
  
**************************  
  
Mizuki felt her tears flow openly up in the stands. "My Kaede," she whispered softly to herself.  
  
Kiyomuri and Harusumi also cheered, but Kiyomuri could feel a strange warm feeling inside him towards Kaede. For the first time, he truly regretted leaving Kaede behind all those years ago. What a pity he has grown up into such a cold, unfeeling person.  
  
Then, Kiyomuri's eyes widened when he saw Rukawa collapse on the court after scoring. "Is he going to be all right?" asked Mizuki anxiously, her face twisted with worry.  
  
**************************  
  
"Rukawa-kun, daijoubu ka?" asked Kogure anxiously as he came running towards Rukawa. Rukawa lay on the floor gasping for air.  
  
"K'so," Rukawa muttered. His chest and his lungs burned. His throat burned painfully. "What the hell is wrong with me?"  
  
"Kitsuneeee!" bellowed Sakuragi. "What's the matter, kitsune? Are you going to collapse like Mitcchy?" Rukawa felt his anger burn at Sakuragi's words. He felt his temper rising.  
  
"Shut up, Sakuragi!" shouted Mitsui hotly. Rukawa stood up. The game's over, anyway, and I have won. I have beaten you, Sendoh, he thought. He staggered a bit as he stood up, and he had to clutch Kogure's shoulder to hold himself up. Then he walked slowly to the benches where Anzai- sensei was sitting, Kogure supporting him all the time. When he reached the bench, he just collapsed on the floor again. He could feel all the exhaustion and pain. Pain like he had never felt before raging in his chest, in his lungs, in his whole body.  
  
Then, the Shohoku team and Ryonan team gathered in the middle of the court. The referee announced the score, "The score is 78-80. Shohoku win!" The gym resounded with wave after wave of cheers, but the Rukawa Brigade's cheers could be heard over the noise. Captains Akagi and Uozumi shook hands. "I will beat you another time, Akagi," said Uozumi. "But today, you were the better team."  
  
"Nyahahaha! Thanks to the tensai that we won!" shouted Sakuragi. Sendoh only smiled. He realized that someone was missing. Rukawa was sitting on the bench next to Anzai-sensei, sweat pouring down his face and neck, and his hair was dripping. He thought he saw a dark stain on the front of Rukawa's jersey, but then dismissed it as sweat. He walked towards Rukawa.  
  
"Rukawa," said Sendoh. The rookie looked up while Sendoh flashed him a smile. "You beat me today, Rukawa. But, as Uozumi said, I will beat you another time."  
  
Rukawa just stared at him icily. He opened his mouth to respond when - "Kitsune! You couldn't have done it without the tensai, could you? You just won't admit that the tensai is better than you!" came Sakuragi's voice.  
  
Rukawa was going to reply with his famous "Do'ahou" when he suddenly felt dizzy. The burning pains in his chest seemed to lessen, but the room was swimming in and out of focus. Without warning, he suddenly doubled over and coughed his lungs out. He could see, through blurred vision the scarlet that came out of his mouth and onto his jersey. When he finally stopped, the room was still swaying. He could vaguely hear the gasps of shock coming from the people around him. The darkness was closing in from all corners of his blurred vision and he knew he was going to pass out. He tried to sit up, but he had no more strength left.  
  
Rukawa could feel himself falling slowly into a black void, empty of all sights and sounds, and the last thing he saw was a blur of colours and images all messed up. "Do'ahou, why are you spinning?" he mumbled before blackness closed on him completely.  
  
  
  
Tbc.  
  
Ah! Finally..another 2 chapters or so and I'm finally done wif this stupid fic. OK..so how wuz it? Is it getting crappier each chapter? Really sorry bout that..tell me what u think ok? 


	8. Chapter 8

Slam Dunk is not mine. Yeah, yeah whatever.  
  
Chapter8  
  
Mizuki's eyes went wide in horror and disbelief when she saw her son down below, coughing out blood. For a minute, she froze with shock. Then Mizuki jumped from her seat and ran down the stands to the locker room where he was being carried. From the footsteps pounding behind her, she could tell that Kiyomuri and Harusumi were following.  
  
Kaede! Kaede! Her mind screamed frantically. If anything happens to Kaede I can never forgive myself.  
  
She ran down the steps and bounded across the court. "Kaede!" she cried, before she burst into the locker room where a number of startled players from both Shohoku and Ryonan looked up from what they had been staring at. Rukawa had been placed on a bench. His pale skin was drenched with sweat, and his lips, though stained crimson, were cracked. His penetrating blue eyes were shut tightly. He looked lifeless, except for the uneven rise and fall of his chest; she would have mistaken him for dead.  
  
"Kaede!" she blurted out again. "What's wrong with him?"  
  
"Are you his mother?" Ayako asked, looking concerned at the distressed woman before her.  
  
Mizuki nodded. "I am."  
  
Another voice came across the room. "If you are his mother, shouldn't you know what is wrong with him?" It was Sendoh's voice.  
  
For once, Mizuki did not know what to say. She could feel shame and shock coursing through her. I am his mother, yet I don't know what's wrong with my own son.  
  
"He - he's been asthmatic since he was young," she said, her words faltering as it came out of her mouth. That was all she knew about Rukawa.  
  
"I don't think this is a common asthmatic attack," said Akagi. "I think it is more serious than that."  
  
"We'd better call the ambulance and get him to the hospital," said Kogure. Mizuki nodded dumbly still not believing what she saw.  
  
Odd, Kogure mused. Rukawa once told me that he was living alone. How did his mother end up here then?  
  
  
  
**************  
  
His eyes snapped open, and then he quickly shut them again. The light was so.blinding. He remained motionless, his eyes still tightly shut, but his mind awake, aware. He could hear sounds coming from all around him. There was hushed conversation, low murmuring, a patter of footsteps running somewhere outside this room. He opened his eyes again, but slowly and painfully. The blinding light pierced his cornea with its full brightness, and he had to blink many times before he finally got used to it. He was sitting in a room that seemed unfamiliar to him.  
  
Everywhere was so .white. The walls were white, the ceiling was white, and the bed and all the sheets he was lying on were all white. He tried to sit up, but suddenly, he felt an unexplainable exhaustion that pulled him back to the comfort of the pillows. Then he remembered. The match. The blood. The dizziness. The pain. The burning, consuming pain that lived in his chest, setting his lungs on fire. And the darkness. The darkness that held nothing but silence, and was devoid of all emotions. How restful it had been. But now, when he awoke, he could feel all the exhaustion returning into his weary form.  
  
"Where - where am I?" He whispered softly.  
  
"Ah! Rukawa-kun, you are awake already," came a jovial merry voice.  
  
"Who are you? And where am I?" Questions buzzed endlessly in his mind.  
  
"I am Dr. Itaki, and you are currently in the ICU in Kanagawa Hospital."  
  
There was a pause at this. "You were unconscious for two days already," said Dr. Itaki.  
  
"Two - two days?" Rukawa gasped.  
  
"Yes. Your mother stayed with you all the while. She left about half an hour ago, but she will be back soon."  
  
Rukawa stared at him in obvious disbelief. "My - my mother?"  
  
"Mizuki Rukawa is your mother, isn't she?"  
  
Rukawa nodded slowly. "It's not Mizuki Rukawa anymore. She left and married again." There was a tint of bitterness in his voice.  
  
"Whatever her name is, Rukawa-kun, she's still your okaa-san. And she loves you, Rukawa-kun, she loves you," said Dr. Itaki. "If she doesn't, she wouldn't have stayed so long by your side."  
  
There was another long silence. Rukawa lay back on the pillows. That short conversation had already tired him. It was as if he was already old and weak, too tired to talk. He felt around for the box of tissue that was always by his bed, but it was not there. Dr. Itaki seeing the boy desperately fumbling for something quickly handed him the tissue box.  
  
Rukawa grasped a wad of tissue gratefully and coughed. Every part of his body inside burned. He felt light-headed again. He let the tissue fall from his weary fingers. It was soaked with a deep crimson.  
  
  
  
*****************  
  
The door opened. Mizuki came in expecting to see her son lying peacefully yet lifelessly on the hospital bed. Kiyomuri and his wife followed after. They could hardly believe what they saw. Rukawa was sitting up, leaning on the pillows propped against the bed. He was staring out of the dirty glass of the hospital windows where the sunlight streamed in. There was a strange light shining on his pale face, or so Mizuki thought. He turned when he heard the door open. He did not seemed surprised to see her, but a strange expression crossed his icy blue eyes, causing them to melt.  
  
Rukawa stared at her. In truth, he was really shocked to see her, but he easily hid his emotions. There was a brief silence between the two of them and he felt at a loss for words. He did not even know how he felt. Was he happy? Disappointed? Angry? And then suddenly, all the bitter memories that had taunted him faded away. All the joyful moments in his life with his mother seemed to come back. He then realized how much he missed her. How he longed to see her face again, and how he wanted her to smile at him again, with the smile she only reserved for him.  
  
"O - okaa - okaa," the word would not come out of his mouth. All the bitter hatred that had clogged up his mind suddenly seemed to have vanished in thin air. His voice cracked with something that warmed him to the pit of his stomach as he tried to say that word.  
  
"Kaede," came Mizuki's soft reply. She paused a while before saying softly, "I - I'm sorry, Kaede."  
  
Rukawa could feel the tears brimming in his eyes. What do I say now? He wondered.  
  
He did not have to think long, because it was Mizuki who spoke again. "I should never have left you, Kaede. If I hadn't left you, Kaede, you wouldn't be here now."  
  
Rukawa glanced up at her face. His ice blue eyes met with her brown ones. It was shocking to see how much emotion was glimmering in those watery eyes. Love. Joy. And regret. But all were sincere. "Okaa-san," he said again. This time his voice had a firm edge to it. "That was the past."  
  
Mizuki hardly dared believe it. Could it be true? Was he really forgiving her? The tears that formed in her eyes were slowly trickling down her cheeks.  
  
Rukawa saw her tears flow freely down her cheeks. Not just plain tears, but tears from her soul, full of emotion. "It's all right now, okaa- san," he did not know what made him say those words, but he just said it. "As long as I have you again, everything's fine."  
  
Everything's fine.  
  
As long as I have you again.  
  
That was the past.  
  
Okaa-san.  
  
The words rang over and over again in her head. I don't deserve all this, Kaede. Why are you forgiving me? I can see the pain you've been through all the time when I was not there. I was not there for you. And you still forgave me.  
  
"Why are you forgiving me, Kaede? After all I did to you?" the words burst from Mizuki's lips suddenly.  
  
Rukawa blinked. The words were so sudden he did not have time to think for a response. "I didn't forgive you at once, okaa-san. It was very hard for me to do so. Until I saw you, and I realized how much I missed you."  
  
Mizuki let her silent tears flow down continuously. Rukawa was suddenly embarrassed by the show of emotions. After all, he never had been one to show his emotions openly. But then she managed to reply in between her tears, "I've missed you to, Kaede."  
  
  
  
**********************  
  
They spent some time talking, chatting happily. She could feel her sorrow leaving her. Kiyomuri and Harusumi also joined in. But Mizuki noticed something. He never smiled. She could sense that he was happy inside, but there seemed to be something disturbing him. "Kaede, is there something wrong?" She asked anxiously.  
  
Rukawa shook his head. "No." She was sure that he was lying.  
  
Later, when Rukawa was lost in a peaceful sleep, she spoke to Dr, Itaki who had quietly entered the room. "Doctor, you never really told me what's wrong with him. Is it just asthma?"  
  
Dr. Itaki shook his head. "No, Rukawa-kun has tuberculosis," he said quietly.  
  
Mizuki's expression twisted with shock. "Tuberculosis! That explains the blood then, does it, sensei?"  
  
He nodded soberly. "Will he recover soon? Tuberculosis is very hard to cure," she said.  
  
Dr. Itaki just remained silent. "Sensei! Tell me!" she said sharply. "Will he be alright?"  
  
"Mizuki-chan," he said gently so as not to disturb her anymore. "He is in a very weak condition now. Just striking up a conversation with him already exhausts him."  
  
Mizuki drew in her breath sharply. "So - so what will happen to him now?"  
  
Dr. Itaki sighed. He knew that she knew what was going to happen to Rukawa, but she just chose not to accept the fact. "He's dying, Mizuki- chan," he said. "He's dying."  
  
  
  
Tbc.  
  
  
  
Hah.I m so evil.but anyway, its ending n I m sooo happy. Is it crappier this time? (I know I need more self-confidence.) The ending's kinda sudden.but ah.nvm. Just R&R pls, ok? 


	9. Epilogue

Slam Dunk does not belong to me.  
  
A/N: Ah.here's the epilogue. (AT LAST!!!) This chappy's a bit draggy.hope u guys won't mind. And the ending is kinda sudden as well..weird combination, huh? Draggy and sudden. Enjoy, even though it sux.  
  
  
  
Epilogue  
  
  
  
(Rukawa's POV)  
  
They can't lie to me. I know what's happening to me. And I know what is going to happen to me. I've been in the hospital for five days already, and I'm not stupid enough not to know. But strangely, I don't feel afraid. She visits me everyday, sitting by my bedside watching me cough out blood, with pain in her eyes. She knows that my condition has worsened more than ever. My okaa-san. And every time she's here, she starts talking cheerily to me, trying to hide the dark truth from me. She promises me things that sound like heaven to my ears when I am out of this hospital. And then again, I wonder if those promises are going to be as empty as the ones she gave last time. But then, I banished that thought from my head. I know this time she is sincere.  
  
Everyday, I look forward to seeing her. Her and her only. She does all the talking, while I listen. I am just contented to listen. I know she's wondering why I don't smile. Well, for three reasons I don't smile. But of course I'm not telling her why.  
  
Reason number one, I don't feel like smiling. Hey, I'm the Ice King right?  
  
Reason number two, I'm afraid of the pain I will feel if I smile. That morning before the match, I clearly recalled how hard it was for an ice block like me to smile. Not to mention all the pain and welling emotions of hell-knows-what inside me. And then again, I wonder whether I said that at all. Emotions? Is that word in the Ice King's vocabulary?  
  
Reason number three, something, or rather someone is missing. Lately, I find that a mental picture of a face I know so well keeps popping out of nowhere into my mind. A man's face. He had very untidy hair like mine, only that it was brown in colour, like, say, onii-chan's. But his eyes were exactly like mine, two cerulean blue almonds gleaming out of a tanned face. I know whose face it was. My otou-san. Oh, hell. This is so weird. I can't understand it myself. I didn't care very much about otou-san since okaa-san left. I was too pre-occupied in my own world to even care anyway. I wasn't even sad when he died in a car crash last year. But, now, his face keeps popping out of nowhere in my mind. And suddenly, I realize how much I miss things before okaa-san left. My old life. His damned face that kept appearing in my mind was the face he used to have before she left us. Very unlike his true appearance before he died. Before he died, I still remember his brown hair streaked with gray and white, his step was weary and his tortured eyes had a haunted look in them.  
  
I know what the memory of him live again in my empty mind. When okaa- san returned to my life, she made all those happy memories of childhood live again. And they were not happy memories unless Kiyo, okaa-san and otou- san were in it. Oh, and of course me. Damn. I never realized in all my wildest dreams that I would miss otou-san. I still don't believe it. He never cared much about me when okaa-san left us. He would be away from home for days, sometimes even weeks. And it had been such a bloody long time since he had actually spoken to me. Partly because I never bothered to speak to him either.  
  
I had been so disgusted with him, with okaa-san, with onii-chan, and with life. I allowed my anger and bitterness to create a barrier between the both of us. A barrier that grew stronger each passing day. I could feel all his regret and guilt when I grew up to be cold and indifferent. I knew he was sorry that he had not brought me up properly, and I lacked love. Dammit, I just hate saying that word. It makes me feel all mushy and sappy all over. Anyway, yeah, I knew he felt guilty. I knew he wanted me back. But I didn't. I know this will sound cruel, but I was actually amused at him. Hell, yeah, that's the f*cking truth. When he did try to speak to me, I rejected him cruelly. I lost my temper and I let all my bitter feelings out of me.  
  
  
  
~Flashback~  
  
Rukawa started slightly when he heard his bedroom door creak open slightly. Through glassy eyes and an indifferent expression on his face, he stared disinterestedly at the familiar face of his father entering.  
  
"Yeah, what d'you want?" were the first cold words that came out of his mouth.  
  
"Kaede, I - I know that I haven't given you much attention lately," said Takeshi Rukawa rather stiffly and awkwardly. He opened his mouth to continue but Rukawa cut him short.  
  
"Damn right, you haven't."  
  
"Kaede, let me explain, please," began Takeshi after an awkward pause at Rukawa's sudden outburst.  
  
"What is there to explain?" demanded Rukawa bitterly. "There's nothing to explain. We're just two people under the same bloody roof, nothing more. I don't need an explanation and I don't want one."  
  
He tried to be patient again, but his son's cold attitude was beginning to create an edge to his patience. "Kaede, be reasonable. I've not been a good father lately, and - "  
  
"Lately?" Rukawa sneered suddenly. "Is eight years considered as lately?"  
  
"Kaede, I know you miss her and - " but he was cut short by Rukawa again.  
  
"Don't talk about her," said Rukawa, his quiet voice filled with hatred.  
  
"What?" demanded Takeshi, thunderstruck.  
  
"Don't ever mention that bitch in front of me."  
  
"Kaede, what the hell is WRONG with you?" he shouted back, his anger finally getting the better of him. "When did you have so much hate in your heart? Since when were you like that?"  
  
"Oh, it was there all the time, okaa-san," Rukawa said coldly. "Except that I never bothered to show it."  
  
Takeshi sighed heavily. "You were not like that, Kaede. Do you see what you have become? You have become a silent, brooding person brimming with hatred."  
  
Rukawa suddenly could not take all of this anymore. "SO? Would you have cared? Dammit, do you know why?"  
  
"Kaede, I - ," began Takeshi again, but was cut short by Rukawa again.  
  
"You don't even have a single clue to what I feel, do you? Then stop messing with me! Leave me alone, I never asked for all this," he paused to take a breath. "Stop treating me like a toy, dammit! You, okaa-san and onii- chan. Why do all of you have to play around with my feelings? Why do you people have to walk out of my life just like that? You only seem pre- occupied in your own world. Stay that way, then. Don't try to make up for your absence. You will never even realize how I feel."  
  
Never even realize how I feel.  
  
Shocked, Takeshi got up and walked to his son. Rukawa must have been suffering badly, all because of their thoughtless actions. "Kaede -,"  
  
But Rukawa rose, "I'm sorry, otou-san, but I don't want anything from you anymore." Then he walked out slamming the door behind him.  
  
* * *  
  
Some days later, Rukawa staggered into the dark, empty house, he called home. There was no one at home, just as he expected. He had just finished with basketball practice, and he still could feel the beads of sweat trickling down his cheeks. He slumped down on the sofa, exhausted, when the telephone started ringing.  
  
He let it ring on. Why can't that asshole answer the phone? He thought, fuming inwardly. It still continued to ring. Then he remembered. There was no one at home.  
  
"What the hell do you want?" he snapped irritably down the phone.  
  
"Is this Rukawa Kaede?"  
  
"Yeah, who's this?"  
  
"This is the Kanagawa Hospital."  
  
Rukawa froze. Why would the hospital be calling him? "What do you want?"  
  
"Your father Rukawa Takeshi is currently in the ICU in the hospital. He was involved in a car crash. Would you please come to the hospital right now?"  
  
For the second time he froze. He let the receiver drop from his limp fingers. The news was so.sudden. He could feel nothing. His mind was empty with shock. He decided to make his way to the hospital.  
  
Rukawa stared at the form of his father lying on the white hospital bed. He was all in bandages, and machines were beeping and buzzing. He just stared and stared, with his usual expressionless gaze. He noticed Dr. Itaki staring at him, an odd expression on his face.  
  
He's probably wondering why I don't cry or look worried, Rukawa thought. Why should I be? It's no big deal. I mean, hell, doesn't everyone have to die and go to hell?  
  
After some time, Dr. Itaki came out and told him soberly, "He's dead."  
  
Without showing any emotion, Rukawa nodded. He picked up his jacket and proceeded to the exit. "Aren't you staying to see your father?" the doctor asked.  
  
"What for? He's dead," came the indifferent reply as he walked out of the hospital.  
  
He reached the dark house and entered it, like he always did. There was no change. And there would never be. At least that was what he thought. Finally I'm free of that useless bastard.  
  
  
  
~End of Flashback~  
  
  
  
Yeah, that was about it. Those were the very last words I uttered to him before he died several days later.  
  
I'm sorry otou-san, but I don't want anything from you, anymore.  
  
Now, I feel guilty. I know that I am beginning to miss him. Miss the warmth and closeness of the word family. Ever since okaa-san came back to me, she turned my life upside down. I was confused. It was a long time since I had ever felt emotions for anyone.  
  
Okaa-san is here now. In the ward, sitting by my bed, talking to me.  
  
"Kaede, when you recover -," she began.  
  
"Or maybe not," I replied sardonically, cutting her sentence short. Then I slumped back onto the pillows. I could not take it anymore. Why did she keep talking about recovering? We both knew very well that I was not going to live much longer. Those three words I had just uttered had already exhausted me. I was panting, reaching for the tissue. Again.  
  
Oh, and speaking of dying, I know that my pathetic life is about to be finished. My lungs burned constantly. And I was constantly cursing the pain and the blood. Other than that, I was not afraid. Seriously. I'm not trying to be a superhero or something, but I just feel, there's nothing to fear. Yeah, everyone's going to die someday, and I'd rather die young than die of old age. Even now, I can feel the life slowly leaving me. Slipping away like a thief in the night. Breathing is a torture to me now, and my chest, my lungs..  
  
"Kaede, why are you saying this?" came Mizuki's worried voice. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"You know very well, okaa-san," I gasped. Yes. Gasped. "Don't pretend."  
  
Kiyomuri standing nearby spoke, "You speak like there's no hope."  
  
I grasped his wrist and pulled him close to me. Then I murmured slowly in his ears, so only the both of us could hear, "I'm not stupid."  
  
The door opened. My eyes widen in surprise. The Shohoku and Ryonan basketball team were here! Were they coming to visit me? Deep inside me, I felt touched. Yes, touched. Don't be surprised, but if you were in my place, you would feel the same, too. I mean, I've been just one ice block in the team. I did not bother to be friendly with anyone, yet here they all were, coming to visit me. And Ryonan, too. They care. For me. I am not alone.  
  
They have come to visit me. Or rather, watch me die. Sardonic, isn't it? Yes, my hour has come. I can feel the cold chill of death running through my bones. I see all of them, their worried, concerned faces. Let go. Let go. This will be more of a blessing to me than anything else. My eyes appear unfocused, and my vision is slowly darkening, becoming hazy, distorted. Like I want to black out. To faint from dizziness. Only that I won't ever wake up again.  
  
"Rukawa-kun, daijoubu desu ka?" came a familiar voice. I see an even more familiar spiky head.  
  
Or course I'm not all right. But I'm not going to say that, of course. I'm no weakling. I whisper something to Sendoh. "I have finally beaten you, Sendoh," I paused, having a coughing fit again. "There will be no other time to beat me."  
  
I could hear Mizuki crying softly beside me. Okaa-san. I - I love you. It's so hard for me to say those words. So hard. But from her face, I can see she understands. She knows I'm going. She is learning to let go. She is learning to say goodbye. They all are. It's a sad scene for them, but not for me. In fact, I'm happy. To die like this, amongst the ones you love, amongst faces who care. They care. They care.  
  
And then, suddenly, I see a vision. Outside in the streaming sunlight, a face. Brown hair, tanned skin, ice blue eyes like mine. Only things was, they were laughing, joyful eyes. I strained to get a better view of that face. I know that only I can see him. Everyone else is looking out of the window, too, to see what I am so wildly staring at. But from their puzzled expressions, I know that only I can see him.  
  
I let my head drop back on the pillow. At last, I am drained of my energy. The last substances of life are disappearing fast. But I still had enough energy to do one thing. I could finally fell all the bitterness in me gone for good, all the self-pity, hatred. My lips slowly curve upward. Yes, into a smile. Even without a mirror I knew it was a warm, sincere one. And it didn't hurt one bit at all. Satisfaction. I felt happiness, warmth, and.peace.  
  
I'm coming, otou-san. Wait for me.  
  
  
  
~OWARI~  
  
OMG!! Its finally done..it ends just like that.sorry about that.  
  
Anewayz, arigato 2 all those nice people out there who took the trouble 2 read AND review my fic. PLS R&R me one last time.and I won't eva bother you again. I know this chappie's kinda sappy and soft.ah.nvm. Tell me whether this fic sucked or not.I bet it does.well, in my opinion that is. ARIGATO GOZAIMASU!!!!!! 


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